65 Witty, Bawdy Mae West Quotes
By Taylor Jasmine | On April 21, 2024 | Updated July 22, 2024 | Comments (0)
Mae West (1893 – 1980) earned international fame as an actress and singer, but she was also a talented playwright and screenwriter. In fact, it was she who wrote all the clever and sometimes bawdy quips that were her stock in trade. This collection of Mae West quotes gathers some of her wittiest and best known.
At one point in the 1930s, Mae was the highest-earning women in the U.S. Constantly doing battles with censors, she famously said, “I believe in censorship. I made a fortune out of it.” Mae created her iconic persona, and behind it was her desire to poke holes in stodgy convention and hypocrisy
The American Film Institute named her the 15th greatest female screen legend, an honor she richly deserved. When her film career wound down, she continued to write books and plays.
“You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough.”
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“There are no good girls gone wrong — just bad girls found out.”
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“I generally avoid temptation unless I can’t resist it.”
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“Every man I meet wants to protect me. I can’t figure out what from.”
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“I wrote the story myself. It’s about a girl who lost her reputation and never missed it.”
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“Between two evils, I always pick the one I never tried before.”
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“Sex is like good bridge. If you don’t have a good partner, you’d better have a good hand.”
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“When I’m good, I’m very good, but when I’m bad, I’m better. ”
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Mae West: The Surprisingly Literary Star of Stage & Screen
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“I’ll try anything once, twice if I like it, three times to make sure.”
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“I’m single because I was born that way.”
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“Good girls go to heaven, bad girls go everywhere.”
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“I’m no model lady. A model’s just an imitation of the real thing.”
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“Ladies who play with fire must remember that smoke gets in their eyes.”
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“A dame that knows the ropes isn’t likely to get tied up.”
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“Marriage is a fine institution, but I’m not ready for an institution.”
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“It’s not the men in your life that matters, it’s the life in your men.”
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“Discarded lovers should be given a second chance, but with somebody else.”
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“Sex is an emotion in motion.”
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“I never said it would be easy, I only said it would be worth it.”
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“Cultivate your curves — they may be dangerous but they won’t be avoided.”
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“Those who are easily shocked should be shocked more often.”
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“Too much of a good thing can be wonderful!”
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“I never worry about diets. The only carrots that interest me are the number you get in a diamond.”
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“It is better to be looked over than overlooked.”
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“I used to be Snow White, but I drifted.”
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“Anything worth doing is worth doing slowly.”
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“Don’t keep a man guessing too long — he’s sure to find the answer somewhere else”
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“You are never too old to become younger!”
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“Love thy neighbor — and if he happens to be tall, debonair and devastating, it will be that much easier.”
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“Women like a man with a past, but they prefer a man with a present.”
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“Look your best — who said love is blind? ”
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“His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork.”
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“A woman in love can’t be reasonable — or she probably wouldn’t be in love.”
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“To err is human — but it feels divine.”
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“I have found men who didn’t know how to kiss. I’ve always found time to teach them.”
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“If a little is great, and a lot is better, then way too much is just about right!”
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“Men are my hobby, if I ever got married I’d have to give it up.”
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“Getting married is like trading in the adoration of many for the sarcasm of one.”
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“When women go wrong, men go right after them.”
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“Good women are no fun … The only good woman I can recall in history was Betsy Ross. And all she ever made was a flag.”
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“I’ve no time for broads who want to rule the world alone. Without men, who’d do up the zipper on the back of your dress? ”
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“Love conquers all things except poverty and toothache.”
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“I never loved another person the way I loved myself.”
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“She’s the kind of girl who climbed the ladder of success wrong by wrong.”
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“JUDGE: Are you trying to show contempt for this court?
MAE WEST: I was doin’ my best to hide it.”
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“Women with pasts interest men because they hope history will repeat itself.”
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“I only read biographies, metaphysics and psychology. I can dream up my own fiction.”
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“I’m a woman of very few words, but lots of action.”
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“An ounce of performance is worth pounds of promises.”
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“A man’s kiss is his signature.”
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“Everyone has the right to run his own life — even if you’re heading for a crash. What I’m against is blind flying.”
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“Love isn’t an emotion or an instinct — it’s an art.”
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“I’ve been in more laps than a napkin.”
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“I see you’re a man with ideals. I better be going before you’ve still got them.”
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“It isn’t what I do, but how I do it. It isn’t what I say, but how I say it, and how I look when I do it and say it.”
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“I saw what a mess a lot of people could make of their lives when they’re smitten. Some of them go temporarily insane. They find a person who they think holds the key to their happiness — the only key to their happiness … My work has always been my greatest happiness.”
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“A hard man is good to find.”
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“Goodness, what beautiful diamonds!” “Goodness had nothing to do with it.”
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“Ten men waiting for me at the door? Send one of them home, I’m tired.”
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“If I had known I was going to live this long, I would have taken better care of myself.”
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“Men are all alike — except the one you’ve met who’s different.”
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“I’ve been rich and I’ve been poor, and rich is better.”
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“I only like two kinds of men, domestic and imported.”
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“What’s the good of resisting temptation? There’ll always be more.”
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“Sex with love is the greatest thing in life. But sex without love — that’s not so bad either.”
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“Gentlemen prefer blondes, but who says blondes prefer gentlemen?”
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“You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough”
More about Mae West
- Mae West biography
- Mae West: Dirty Blonde (American Masters, PBS)
- IMDB
- The Best of Mae West (film clip compilation)
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